We are officially wrapping up the end of 2018 today– meaning all the Christmas decorations are coming down and being put away! With a fresh house and clean slate, it’s also a chance to check your perspective for the year ahead. And since that comes with reflection, these are my top take-aways from this year!
BEING A MOM IS THE GREATEST THING EVER: Seriously though! I love being a mom! From the very first moment, it felt completely natural and I fell in love. “Mama” is such a precious word to be called. You learn so much about life through a tiny human that can’t even talk to you. We are 8 months in (3 days ago!) and even though we can’t talk to each other, we understand each other. Non-verbal is everything and his smile lights up a room! I adore this little love and have an exciting announcement to share in the next week and a half– stay tuned! (No, it’s not a sibling!) It’s a passion project inspired by him!
LIFE IS PRECIOUS: Not only through the miracle of birth– which is utterly amazing!– but in the time we spend with one another. I lost my dad’s mom in 2017 and so wished she could have met Jackson. She would have adored him! Thankfully, my mom’s mom got to meet and hold him, but only for a month and a half as she passed away unexpectedly at the end of June this year. I’m so grateful that we all spent my first Mother’s Day together– Jackson had two grandmas and two great-grandmas with him! As an adventurous person already, I want to make all the memories together that we can!
I HAVE THE MOST SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND: Through pregnancy, birth and my post-partum seasons, he’s been a solid support system. So much so, that in my early post-partum days, I felt like he was doing everything besides breastfeeding. Changing diapers, dressing Jackson, loading him into the car, carrying him, pushing the stroller, getting him when he cried– you name it, if it wasn’t feeding time– actually, there were times he would feed ME while I fed Jackson– I felt like he was doing it all. Which sounds amazing right?! But not when you think he’s doing it all because he thinks you can’t. Which is what happened with my irrational hormones. I’d get so frustrated and he’d ask what he could do and would make me talk through it (because as he said, only I could get post-partum depression and the only way to know if I was ok was to keep talking), and I’m like, ‘no, it’s so stupid, it’s going to sound ridiculous.’ But when I explained it, he totally understood and I began doing more. He was only trying to help do things, but for the first time ever, I needed him to do less so I felt capable. It’s crazy what those initial hormones do to you! A couple months later when my work life fell apart, he was the first to have my back and tell me to go for it and open my own design studio. And that takes guts on his part too– and total belief in me– because we can’t rely on one income. Especially with a growing family! But he trusted that I could do it and that’s such an amazing gift.
KEEP AT IT: If there’s anything a baby teaches you, it’s the will to keep trying. When they’re learning to crawl and stand and walk, they don’t quit just because they didn’t get it the first time. Or the second. Or the third. Or the fourth or fifth. Their sheer determination is impressive and yet often overlooked because we EXPECT them to keep trying. Because we know that they’ll eventually figure it out. Yet somewhere along the way in #adulting, we lose sight of this. Like if it didn’t work out, it’s not for you. Or you should try something different because when you’re an adult, you’re not expected to “fail” over and over again– you’re expected to succeed. And if you take too long, you should have probably cut your losses a long time ago. But there is beauty in persistence. And consistency. And determination. Because sometimes that one thing you’re doing is exactly what you’re supposed to do. Keep at it. You just haven’t figured it out yet.
IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON: People will disappointment you, there’s no way around this one. People you thought were close to you– who considered you family and vice versa– will hurt you. They dismissed you, cast you aside, lied to your face, walked out of your life, whatever it may be. You may have felt anger, frustration, and sadness, but what lies at the bottom is pure disappointment in the way they acted. How a situation unfolded. How something ended. How you believed them and they laughed in your face and turned away. What you will come to understand is that it’s their problem– not you. It is within themselves and not something that you can fix, no matter if you want to or not. Whether their insecurities, jealousies, or indifference, there is a reason and a purpose that they’re no longer in your life. And you need to move on. You need to realize you are better off than being around someone who doesn’t care about you. They aren’t spending any time worrying about you, so let’s not waste time on them. That’s not where your energy and effort should be. Focus on the people who support you and love you– who are still standing there when this happens.
GOD’S PLAN IS FAR BETTER THAN OURS: I feel like I’ve been more grateful this year than any other year. Our son is our greatest joy and such an incredible blessing! We’ve seen God’s hand time and time again as things have fallen apart and come together in ways we never anticipated. New opportunities that we thought were years away were suddenly in front of us. Rob’s schedule went from swing shift to being home every. single. night. Meaning, we can eat together every evening, put Jackson to bed and he even has every weekend off! It’s been YEARS since we’ve had that and it’s such an incredible blessing to our growing family! I’ve never believed in coincidences because I believe there’s always a purpose behind it. And man, I can’t even count how many times that’s happened in the last four months of the year! I have been beyond blessed with my clients and the projects that have begun and am so incredibly grateful that it makes me cry with gratitude. I can’t wait to see what He has in store for this year!
I’M SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN ME: Sometimes it’s overwhelming to know how many people truly love you, believe in you and your dreams and support you. Some you may have known for years and sometimes it’s only months, but they trust you and have confidence in you and it’s so humbling! There were plenty of days this year where a small act of kindness literally made my day. Being a new mom brings on a lot of emotions as do all major life changes. But through it all, I had people by my side– or carrying me depending on the day! So to all of you who lifted me up, THANK YOU.
CHASE YOUR DREAMS: I love what I do! I get to create and dream and truly change people’s lives. They invite me into their homes and lives and we work together for months and years and they become family. I get to make a difference in their homes and that gives me so much joy! I’m excited to see what 2019 has in store and the chance to chase dreams old and new!
Wishing you a happy new year and a fulfilling 2019!